A new journey continues, new traumas to address, new hearings to be had, new memories to be made.
You have to put on your oxygen mask first before you can put on someone else's. You can not help anyone else until you help yourself. I have to stop living with the lies that I thought could carry me and stand in the honesty that will ground me. I have been the villain for a long time, in some ways I now feel affirmed while in others I still have to fight for what I think is right while keeping my ego in check. I have to stop and be grateful for what I have, I didn't always have it like this. I have to thank GOD for what he has delivered to me while still delivering me. I don't have that anxiety anymore, the stress of not knowing, not seeing them everyday not knowing if they are ok. I see them everyday now and I get to kiss their face and feel their embrace. A new fight begins and new battles to be had, divorcing the old spirits they brought with them while introducing them to new ones that will serve them in the years to come. The next chapter writes itself right before my eyes. I keep looking for the opportunity to be creative and express everything that is going on while still trying to support and provide for everything that is actively happening to me. I want to feel better about myself, take control of my body and how I feel. I have to take care of myself so I can take care of them. I hold myself accountable for what has happened and what will happen, this is not a spectator sport and I plan on being involved and taking control. Forgive me for my trespasses as I forgive those who have trespassed. I have to show them grace and forgiveness because I have to keep giving it to myself. I am a work in progress. The Child Support Tour continues....stay tuned.