Live Performance @TheRawGallery
The Bronx NY 2021
Why Do They Walk In Circles?
What compels them to circle the room? Why continue to walk?
Not speak, not look, just walk?
They almost seem harmless almost, but the potential is always there.
Idleness always seems to be the precursor to violence.
Lack of activity, engagement, even encouragement, seems to be deficient.
the stare is not blind, just not current, not present,
not here, abandoned, almost distraught.
Some boisterous, posturing, attention seekers, starved for human contact.
They cross the line of professional conduct
in the hopes that today's transgressions will be forgiven.
Maybe a piece of candy or leftover lunch or an inappropriate graze or pass.
The FM radio music fills a concrete room
with a distinct Echo adding to the awful din of Tourette's style outburst and voices. Even within the legal segregation, there's an effort to be currently styled
and dress and vernacular, still wanting to be relevant
and a contributor to the status quo of foolishness of trendy culture.
Staff and patients alike, employment versus legal confinement
is the only distinction.
Intelligence and creativity spilled like water
with no infrastructure to irrigate the flow.
patience vs. Patient never outweighs the ladder.
"Evaluation of Competency" is the umbrella that covers
the amalgamation of gender race and age with no prerequisites.
My presence here adds to the various energies
that flow in a counterclockwise flow of medicated souls in an infinite walk.
Solitude At a Convention
Feels like I'm sitting in solitude at a crowded convention,
surrounded by love and affection;
trying to gain ground and lost my direction.
People keep reaching out to me but I'm not paying attention,
it's because I'm broke due to bad intentions,
but they say they are sorry now
and my pain is supposed to be held in retention. Fuck that!!!!
I'm allowed to be mad because there was so many attempts at prevention,
but did I mention? the dissension? the open deceptions?
The failed attempts of sabotage do to my interceptions?
Maintaining the foundation and the structure but it was strictly perception,
it went from hot to cold like late-night sessions to all-day aggression.
Having long, verbal, extended conversations,
by myself in the shower due to repression.
Living together like strangers for years forgetting
what made the combination; the confection,
even when I put the recipe in your hand you still claimed misdirection,
abuse and neglect at the hands of the man that once paid attention,
because he was showered by your affection
but it's the fifth element that you're forgetting,
because all these worldly views you let in,
of no substance and cognitive dissonance,
detaching from reality because of its inconvenience,
not accepting truth because of the vocabulary chosen,
your eyes wide shut to the fact that you were even chosen,
forgetting the lineage of which your blood flows in,
generations of women with no men in homes that children grow in.
Never being met halfway with the children they're rearing,
speeding away recklessly with emotions doing the steering,
crashing upon impact with no hopes of persevering,
a gloomy future is leering;
an absent father and no figurehead for the kids to revere in,
no voice of authority to strike fear in,
the hearts of the little ones who grow hearing,
that no respect needs to be given,
no loyalty or gratitude needs to be displayed
because the father didn't stay
with the person who kept threatening to leave him anyway.
She attacked every facet of his being,
from his first passion to the children he's no longer seeing.
What was once a daily routine is now a faded memory,
walking kids to school, cooking meals,
late night, let me stay up for one more minute deals.
Tooth Fairy plots, report card rewards, waffle sandwiches and music galore.....
distant feelings that leave me sore, tired and hurt,
make me bury my head in work, one day blurs into the next.
looking forward to the space where your head's can rest,
no longer feeling the pressure of having to choose,
between two people who still have so much more to lose....
so I will stand strong in my conviction,
pursue and follow through with all my original intentions,
continue to be an example of a man with no apprehension,
avoid the pitfalls of your emotional detention.
Bombard my children with love as if it was my own invention,
shower them with guidance and wisdom that is beyond comprehension
and make no mistake about it .....I'm coming for my kids from every direction!!!